Newsgroups: local.devilbunnies Path: news.cs.brandeis.edu!chaos.cs.brandeis.edu!murph From: murph@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (Ilene Rosenberg) Subject: BRANDEIS UNIVERSITY 02254 Message-ID: <1991Oct28.064235.14133@news.cs.brandeis.edu> Summary: Episode 1: Assassination Keywords: Brenda, Brandon, Dylan? Sender: news@news.cs.brandeis.edu (USENET News System) Organization: GAFCo/GADFLi/MegaBitch Inc. Distribution: local Date: Mon, 28 Oct 1991 06:42:35 GMT Lines: 131 WE INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED FLAME WAR TO BRING YOU THIS REALLY IMPORTANT NEW NET.SHOW. *Insert theme music here* BRANDEIS UNIVERSITY 02254 (Setting: Usdan Student Center in the way trendoid Boulevard, our buds are all sitting with eachother at lunch, having just a glorious day. The gang that we currently see are: the brothers FLINX and FUZZBALL and Flinx's girlfriend COOKIE) COOKIE: Okay, so...do you think that, like, Lucifer and like SexPot are like, the totally cutest couple in like, the universe or like, what? FLINX: No no no Cookie. That's us, babe. Anyways - did you totally see their clothes today? I mean - NOT! The two of them are dressing so ... Marbit today it's not funny. FUZZBALL: Flinx. Did you talk to Mom today? Did she say we could buy new clothes and books and stuff? Huh? Huh? huh? (Enter LUCIFER and SEXPOT - hand in hand and looking just too cute for words. They are both dressed in BRiS shirts. Why? Satan can only guess.) COOKIE: Wow! Hi buds! What's up? FLINX: Dude! Lucifer! Like the duds! Where can I get some? LUCIFER: Wow Flinx. Do you really like them? I got them from the radio station! FLINX: You mean where that really geeky Cuz works? Yeesh. He still think he's gonna get the New Kids to play Screw? Heh. Not. COOKIE: Oh! Screw! (looks at LUCIFER and SEXPOT) Are you guys going together? I mean - you ARE the couple of the gossip pages these days! If you are...do you wanna double or something? SEXPOT: Neat idea. We can eat at ... ummm... Alex's? The Peach Pit? Naah that place rots. FLINX: How about Tiki House? SEXPOT/COOKIE/LUCIFER: Yeah! Cool! SEXPOT: But is it Kosher? FLINX: Oh yeah. I guess it's the glorious ambiance of Sherman. Yum yum yum. (Enter CUZ) CUZ: Hi guys! I almost got through to the New Kids today! I'm really trying to get them to play for Screw this year. Speaking of which (he quiets down a bit) - do you guys think you can set me up? (FLINX, FUZZBALL, and LUCIFER look at eachother with a glimmer in their eyes - and this is not the nicest of glimmer either. As a matter of fact - it screams HA! HA! HA!) FUZZBALL: Sure cuz. Not a problem. (Enter MURPH *yes I'm in here cause I'm the closest we've got to Angela in BH90210 - she's the editor of the paper* - she's dressed in black and white and has a SUPERSOAKER 50 at her side) MURPH: Hi dudes! EVERYONE: Hi murph. (MURPH looks at Cuz and fiddles with the superosaker) MURPH: So - I'm looking for a screw date... ERNIE: (who appears fropm almost nowhere) How about the Sheriff? (everyone laughs - except Murph) FLINX: Or - Harrison Ford? (they all laugh again - but Murph raises her gun - she looks about ready to kill everyone. Suddenly - Ernie realizes something...) ] ERNIE: Uh-oh. Wait - It's MONDAY! Don't make fun of Murph on Monday - she's liable to hurt someone for real. MURPH: (running her hand through her long brown naturally curly hair and smirking at Ernie) Damn straight hon. Now about that screw date... (CUZ glances around - and then at his watch) CUZ: Uh-oh. Gotta call Danny, Donny, Joe, Jordan and Scumbag back. LAter (he books out of the place and everyone watches) COOKIE: Yeah. Like - whatever. He'll get the New Kids for Screw about as easily as Student Events will talk the Psychadelic Furs into playuing here...Now about that screw date Murph... SEXPOT: I got a perfect one for you! (she whispers in COOKIE's ear and the two giggle like high schoolers on Beverly Hills 90210 or some stupid show like that). MURPH: Yeah - well - really? Great. But it better be someone good - or I'll kill you --- with a spoon. Well - time to get to work on the JUSTHIS. Later buds (she turns heel and walks out). FLINX: (watching as she leaves) Okay Cookie honey doll darling beautiful sexy gorgeous... FUZZBALL: Shut up darling brother... FLINX: Right. Cookie honey (pauses as Fuzzball glares at him) - who did you have in mind for our darling newspaper editor friend? COOKIE: (giggling) Why ... Rod Crafts of course. After all - he is the Dean of student AFFAIRS. *theme music as everyone laughs* COMING ATTRACTIONS: THE BIG DANCE IS COMING UP. WHO'S GONNA GO WITH WHO? WILL IT BE FUN? WILL CUZ GET THE NEW KIDS TO PLAY AT THE DANCE? WILL EVERYONE KILL HIM IF HE DOES? WHERE WILL COOKIE, FLINX, LUCIFER, AND SEXPOT EAT? AND - MOST IMPORTANTLY - WHAT THE HECK IS EVERYONE GONNA WEAR?