Newsgroups: local.devilbunnies
From: jesse@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (jesse-ter)
Subject: me, you and I
Summary: Me get's confused
Keywords: Take that
Date: Fri, 18 Oct 1991 01:13:23 GMT

This is in the tradition of Back... meets... Oz (no relation) 

Act one Scene three.
The Psycho Suite.
Me, You, and I are sitting in a room, Myself is conspicuously absent.

Me:	I was thinking...
(I is looking at a book, but looks up as he hears his name)
I:	I was??
Me:	What I was trying to say...
I:	(getting angry) Stop putting words into my mouth!!!!
Me: 	Shut up and let me speak!!!
I:	(NOTHING!!!!)
Me:	I need money.  (glares at I) 
You: 	Properly it should be "I needs money.".
(Me punches both You and I into tomorrow)
Tomorrow: Watch where your going next time!!!

Act six Scene two 
Cafeteria

Me: 	Excuse me but I am interested in working here, Who would I
see?
Al: 	(pointing to a man on the other side of the stage) Him.
Me:	Thanks.
(Me walks over to the boss)
Me: 	Excuse me but are you in charge?
Him: 	(pointing to a man on the other side of the room) He's in
charge.
(Me more than a little annoyed walks to the other side of the room)
Me:	Are you in charge?
In charge:	Yes I am.
Me: 	I'd like a job.
In charge:	Well why ask me, I only wash dishes
Me: 	I didn't ask me, I asked you!  No, wait a second...  I thought
you were in charge?
In charge:	I am.
Me:	(giving up a little) Who do I talk to about getting a job??
In charge:(pointing to him) Him.
(Me once again walks across the room.  Me's shoulders are a little
slouched.  Me approaches Him, who is engaged in a conversation)
Me: 	I'd like a job sir.
Sir:	(sir stops talking to Him and asks) Why ask me?  Ask him!!!
Him: 	Would you like a job?
Me:	Yes, I need the money.
Him: 	Well you can have the job.
You:	Well I guess this makes up for him hitting me, just don't do it
again.
Him:	But I never hit you!
I:	How do you know?
You:	Because no one hit me.
(Don't walks up to you and hits Me)
Don't:	Well he said hit hit me.
Me: 	Well when do I start?
Him: 	Start working tomorrow.
Tomorrow:	Thanks alot!!!!!
(Me, disheartened and distressed, walks away.  Although why Me walks
away with disheartened and distressed I/we don't know)

Act four Scene one hundred fifty eight
terminal room

Steve Marbit:	You're hired.
Me: 	Thanks!!!
(me walks away, picks up a IBM and smashes it over Steve's head)
(This scene was not part of the story in any way shape or form, but
what the hell.)

Act twelve Scene none
terminal room

Steve Marbit: Your hired.
Me: 	Thanks!!!
(me walks away, picks up a IBM and smashes it over Steve's head)
(why not)

Act eleven Scene eight
Cafeteria

Me: 	I really enjoy this work.
I: 	Me too.
Tomorrow:	Thanks for the job.
I: 	You know...
You:	Why are you telling me what I know??
(Me punches you and I into tomorrow and goes into a moving soliloquy)
Soliloquy:	sorry.
Me:	(aside) Oh I see the error of my ways.  I started a terrible
trend, and now I can hardly talk without my meaning getting confused
because a word I use is also a person's name.  If only I could go back
and mend my ways before this whole trend got started.  Alas, I shall
have to commit suicide.
Suicide:	Why commit me, I'm perfectly sane!!!!!
You:	Do you honestly think that we shouldn't commit me?
We:	Huh?  What's this about me committing someone?
Me:	I ain't committing nobody.
Someone:	Hey...
Nobody:		Thank you.
You:	Why are you thanking me?
Nobody:		I wasn't, I was thanking me.
(me walks away)

Act six Scene two
Terminal room

What are you doing here I'm typing, why are you invading my privacy,
get out, scat!!!!!
			With love and squallor
					Jesse
P.S. special thanks to Cuz and Daniel for helping me to correct and write
this.